advice

I don’t much like being given unsolicited advice, probably you know that about me.   This has been a rough year for that, let me tell you.

First, a few of my friends expressed extreme concern that I started dating this guy that I broke up with years ago.  It’s never a good idea, one of them said.  The other one kept bringing up all of the bad things I said about Sam before, and it was all I could do to deflect these conversations and trust myself.

Second, when it was looking like we were going to be engaged soon, people didn’t think we should be moving so fast.

Third, once we got engaged, we had the wedding to plan.  Oh, let me tell you, everyone and their sister has an opinion on how a wedding should be.  And those opinions don’t all match MY opinions.  “What??!? You’re not getting married in a church!?!”  “What?!? No photographer?!?”  “Oh! Marie, you have to have a bouquet.  You have to.  I’ll buy it.”  (I let her buy the bouquet.)

Fourth, once I started telling people that I’m pregnant, let me tell you, the advice started pouring in.  Half of the world are women, and a very large majority of them have been pregnant.  Once you’ve been pregnant, I think it must be part of the rules that you have to tell newly pregnant women the best (or in some cases, all) piece of advice that you gleaned from your experience.  Men are not outside of this circle, there are many men who have lived with pregnant women, but there are far fewer of these.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I don’t want to talk to my friends about things that are happening.  In fact, most of the advice is a good impetus for me to think about what I really want.  Was it true that Sam was the same person?  Well, no.  Did I really want a photographer? Not really.  And a bouquet will be nice to have.  And pregnant women giving me advice has been quite helpful sometimes.  I’m sure I’ll give my own set of opinions when the time comes.  But I’ll try to keep it to one or two pieces.  And let me tell you, I’ve become a master at the art of smiling and nodding politely and grunting in a noncommittal manner, and completely ignoring what someone is saying to me.

Posted by Marie on March 28th, 2008 under Uncategorized

One Response to “advice”

  1. Gerald Snyder Says:
    April 4th, 2008 at

    Hi Marie,

    Best Wishes and congratulations on your wedding and your expected baby. Babies seem to evoke a stream of advice, I received more than I expected a few years ago.

    –Gerald

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