talkin bout the car wash

I’ve been interested in reading more about/of Temple Grandin lately. She is probably the most famous autistic person around - she’s highly intelligent and is valuable for being able to describe intelligently what it is like to be autistic. Her latest book is “Unwritten rules of social relationships”, written with two other autistic people.

As most people who know me know, my nephew/godchild is autistic.  He’s ten now, and a fully functional little man - he’s mainstreamed in regular classes and reading at his grade level.  However, he still exhibits autistic qualities. All of the typical things, not getting social cues, not liking to be touched, liking routine and feeling out of control if the routine is disturbed. I joke with friends and coworkers about recognizing the inner autism in all of us - we all have these qualities, I think, but autistic kids just have them in a more pronounced way.

The latest story I’ve been telling about my nephew is his fascination/aversion with the car wash. He risks grounding on a weekly basis to ride his bike over to the gas station, about a mile away from his house, to watch obsessively cars going through the car wash. The gas station is too far for him to be by himself, so his parents take his bike away for a while. This does not mean to say that he likes going through them, however. When I was visiting we all went out for dinner. Brett checked with his dad if we would be stopping to get gas on the way home. Brian wasn’t sure. Brett asked if we did get gas, would we go through the car wash? Brian still wasn’t sure. Brett kept asking, needing to be assured that we would definitely NOT go through the car wash. The car wash was something he loved to watch but under no circumstances would he be in a car when the car went through the car wash. I think all of those things touching the car in such a manner was just too much for his not-wanting-to-be-touched-and-be-in-control little self.

My brother and his wife, his parents, are doing stellar work in raising Brett. I know that raising an autistic child is difficult and can take its toll on a marriage and anyone’s patience - and I just get to tell the stories.

Posted by Marie on June 18th, 2007 under Uncategorized



2 Responses to “talkin bout the car wash”

  1. Brian Says:

    I read the other day that 80% of marriages end up in divorce when there is an autistic child. Although I cannot verify the reliability of the information, I can verify it seems only a strong marriage will survive.

  2. Theresa Says:

    When Marie was visiting me in OZ, we saw a scene with a young boy and his parents on the bus. The boy was flailing and howling. I was judgmental but Marie told me some of her stories about scenes with her nephew and his parents. Of course, she said, she didn’t know if that was the case with the family on the bus or not but…

    Marie’s story was a little strategically placed wisp of tolerance, empathy, and patience. And very persuasive too!

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