in the far right hand lane 2
This is exactly what I did not need today, the bus being stopped on Lake Shore Drive. I guess it doesn’t really matter if we break down, we are here so early. I have not been able to sleep at all lately. I haven’t quite determined why, but I keep going to doctors to figure it out. I was up again at 3:30 this morning, after finally falling asleep at 12:30. That’s why I’m on the bus so darn early. What kind of normal person would be on the bus at 6:45? Not only have I not been sleeping normally, but now some people moved into the condo downstairs from me, and they have a baby about a year old – and it looks like another on the way. It’s going to be a long few years with the new babies downstairs crying at all hours of the day. I think that people with children should just get a house. Not that I don’t love babies – I want some of my own one day, but one has to think about one’s neighbors when a new baby is in the house. I own a condo but when my boyfriend and I finally get married and have kids, he says I’ll sell the condo and we’ll be getting a place away from people, with a yard and all that. He says a lot of things will change when we get married.
I haven’t really told the sleep doctors this, but I think I haven’t been sleeping well because I’m just not sure about my boyfriend. He’s awfully nice, and my family likes him, but I’m not sure he’s the guy for me. I lay up nights worrying about it. I mean, the boyfriend is great. He has been with me for years and years. But sometimes, I just feel like he doesn’t really like the person I am. I don’t want to change who I am, but he seems to want me to be something different. Sometimes, no matter what I do, it isn’t what he wants me to do. He asked me to marry him in such a way that if I didn’t answer soon, he wouldn’t be able to wait and he would find someone else. Maybe it is better that he finds someone else and I wouldn’t have to change to be what he wants me to be.
I’m just sitting here, on Lake Shore Drive in the right hand lane. Alone with my thoughts, but with 75 people around me angry and worried what will happen next. Who really cares what happens next? Maybe a car will hit us and I won’t have to go to work, and I’ll be in the hospital for a while and my boyfriend will miss me, and want the me that I am.
Posted by Marie on July 23rd, 2006 under Uncategorized
- updated photos on flickr
- ceiling fan, and baby exercises
- baby competition
- z’s first concert
- yay obama
- my lame halloween costume
- Our little social … human
- I guess time really is money
- starting and stopping work
- talking about breasts
- fresh out of the oven
- my life as a stay-at-home mom
- updated pictures on flickr
- but I do believe in miracles
- our little o negative baby
- blamers and the nuclear family
- his feet look like mine
- pictures on flickr
- new baby in the house
- We just joined the “buy more sh&t” club
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